Home again..

In the last couple of days the thought of blogging again crossed my mind a lot. I had thoughts in my head sorted out, but i just couldn’t find the words.

I think of getting a diary again, so I dont forget about what happens around me. Just like i took a diary with me to Ireland, and from times to times I look through it remembering everything that happened.

Well, the last 2 months were hectic. I moved. Not only did I move from one town to another, but from one country to another. I left my new home in order to go back to my old one. But, I wouldnt really call it a home, as to me, “home” is the place where you belong to, and i dont belong here. It’s always been a bit of a struggle for me to be here and while I changed so much in Ireland (inside and out), time seems to have stood still here. It took me a while to look behind the facade and see some changes. But yet, they are not so big like mine. People keep on telling me, that now I look better than I did before I went. Some friends felt like, now they dont have to worry about me as much anymore. I seem to be so much stronger and happier. I am so much stronger and happier.
And I can feel the energy inside myself.

But back to the events of the last two months. On Monday, the 2nd of June, I left my beloved friends and (host-)family in Ireland, and it still breaks my heart a little to think about it. I miss Ireland. I miss my friends. I miss the shops and I miss the rain. I miss the music that would be played on the streets every week. I even miss the old scary drunk men. The box with stuff I took with me from Ireland still stands in my room. I just cant sort this out now. I need to sort myself out first, and that will take a while. And i dont mind it being there. Everytime I look at the box it reminds me of this amazing time.

Well I had a long flight back and I was quite tired, but my family and best friend picked me up at night, and the day afterwards some close friends came over and we started to sort out my suitcases.
Since I came back, I cooked a lot for my family. Nigerian Meatpies, for example. (I got the recipe by one of the greatest people I ever met and I absolutely love eating them. Anyone interested in having it? Tell me!)

Also, I am back to school now. It is kinda exhausting cause I missed a lot and its hard to stay focused when you dont understand a lot of what the teacher says, but I’m getting better. In the beginning I had to sleep after school, cause I have to get up somewhat early (6 am) and school takes up a lot of energy. But now its better and as we are getting closer to the end of this year, everything gets easier and I have more time to revise what I missed. Which is actually not as much as i expected it to be, but still a lot.

I had a great evening with all of my friends on the 21st, when I’ve been back for nearly 3 weeks. We spent the time in my garden and we had a lovely BBQ. I saw a lot of them for the first time since I’ve been back and it was great. I missed them. We stayed up til 6am while most were already gone, and then I fell asleep on the couch.
The tree in the middle of our garden had been decorated with glasses filled with candles and it looked as amazing as it felt. Everyone didn’t know what to expect cause it was the first time we had a garden party and as I’m still 16, I live with my family. But the outcome was unbelievable.

I had some amazing weekends since I came home in Hamburg, on a family meeting, on a medieval market in my hometown or simply with my friends. Life is beautiful!

I will try and write again soon.
Until then take care. 🙂


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