Badtimestories

And there’s a knife on the shelf,
And the devil inside my mind,
And I know that I could,
And god knows, that I tried,
And after so many months,
Adrenaline rushes through my veins,
And I lie in bed.
With tears in my eyes,
Cause I fought for so long,
Every day of my life,
And in the end,
Here I am, with a knife in my hand,
Telling myself, that it’s fine,
If I cut just a little,
Just a few drops of blood,
And I stop.

It’s not worth it, i know.
But am I worth the fight ?
All the crying and breaking down to the floor,
Trying to understand what kills me inside,
So bad that id kill my outside aswell.
But my body just feels like an empty shell,
And my breath doesnt feel like my breath,
My heartbeat doesnt feel like it belongs here.

Shouldnt I love that body of mine,
Cherish it ?
I can’t.
I tried.
I failed.

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