Just a crush

I know you tried, we tried,
We failed

And please don’t say you need me,
we both know, it’s not true.
I hope I had at least some sort of impact on you.

And I’ll try to accept,
or at least not to cry,
when I see your face and wish,
that what you say,
Is not just “Hi!”.

And all that’s left of you
is the little scar on my heart tonight,
and the empty cup of icecream in the sink,
and the tears on my pillow.

I’d say I miss you,
But I doubt I do,
I feel like I never really got to know you.

It is still weird to talk about.
I try to go out.
But I’m afraid of seeing your face.
More the look in your eyes.

I feel
weak, dumb. lost, broken, hurt.
Empty.

I look on my phone
every now and then.
To check if you didn’t change your mind.
I think i lost mine.

I’ll be happy again.
It was just a crush.
On a man that was everything I couldn’t have.

And please,
don’t hug me,
don’t ask how I am.
I’m tired of crying
and hating myself.
I wanna feel the sun on my face again.
And feel happy and strong without you.

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2 thoughts on “Just a crush

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